She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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