I could have mohawked her pubes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We just shotgunned beers for America
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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