how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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