Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
