It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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