I wish I could teleport
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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