I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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