She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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