I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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