R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
