How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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