Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
