She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
