You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
