dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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