my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
