I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
