Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
