While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
