i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
