id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
