While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
