I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
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I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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