he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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