I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
