Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
