I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
