Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
