you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
