is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I can't turn off my feet"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize