dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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