And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
