You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize