i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
