Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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