no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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