we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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