she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
