grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize