It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
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I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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