what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
