were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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