Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize