I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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