All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just found puke in my bra..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
BRING THE BAGELS
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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