What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
