We won't sleep together?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize