Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
