Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
