Just cropdusted the office
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize