This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
