You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize