ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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