I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
