If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
