Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My butt remains clenched, sir.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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