Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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