I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
