I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
