just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
