Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
