dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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