i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
