Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
