I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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