I cockslap morals
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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