he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
