so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
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It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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