My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
