Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
