I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I checked into jail on foursquare
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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