the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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